How To Survive Being A Stay At Home Mom

Recently, I have had a number of friends exclaim something like, "Being a stay-at-home mom just isn't for me. I just can't stand to sit at home all day." Let me point out that this is potentially incredibly offensive. However, I think that the benefits of both staying at home and working have been covered in books, articles and blogs the world over many times by those much more eloquent than I. This post is for those that want to stay home with kids, but aren't quite sure how to hack it.

At the park, because we just couldn't be home.

Unfortunately, learning homemaking skills have become outmoded and incredibly passe. I, like many my age (still under 30 for a few more months . . . ) never really thought it useful to learn how to cook, clean or sew well. To this day, I would rather strut into a high power business meeting than face the reality of decorating my own home.

I have been a stay at home mom now for nearly 2 years, and this is my list of 'life-savers' for days I just can't take it any more.

Literally just sitting outside and letting him play with a soccer ball.

1. Have a Schedule. Everyone is different, and has a different parenting style, and I respect all of those and blah, blah, blah. That statement aside, I learned this from my mother. Long before I had children, she would say, "Kids need a schedule. They need to know what comes next; it just makes them feel safe." This rang true to me when I didn't have kids, and has proven so now that I do. It doesn't mean every second of the day has to be scheduled out, since that tends to add stress. It just means if kids know nap time is at 12 and bedtime is at 8, then so do you. You can make plans.

2. Make Plans. And Friends. Essentially, just get out of the house. Have a play date in the morning and go shopping in the afternoon. If all else fails, go to Chick-Fil-A. Best indoor play area ever. Go to the park, or Barnes and Noble (they have a great play area as well). Get a membership to the zoo, or the aquarium, or the aviary or whatever is where you are at. Then you have something you can do if your toddler drew on the wall and you aren't sure you can be a constructive parent anymore. As princess Elsa of Erendale once said, "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small".

This is from a few months ago when we did a walking tour of south temple street in Salt Lake. I tried to shove him in a sweater that was too small. I would do it again.

3. Let It Go. I was recently at the park (probably calming myself down). I was the only one at the park actually sitting at a bench. Every other parent was up trying to show their children just how to play. I am all for being involved and teaching our kids. However, there is a time and place to just let your kid run around. Keep an eye out for obvious dangers, and sit your butt down. Let them make friends, or get pounded on by that giant that is masquerading about as a 3 year old. Give them the opportunity to learn on their own. Very often by doing so, we let them know we think they can do things.

This is how half our days end up. I shoot for only a few hours of TV every day. I rarely make it.

4. Know when you can't do things. Your life will fall apart, as will the house. Some inane butt head will inevitably say that they wish they could 'just sit at home all day' (this might be your husband) and you will visit a friend who always seems to have it all together. As a woman, I feel I should be capable of everything. I should have an immaculate home. I mean I am a stay at home mom. But I don't. Cut yourself some slack. Know when you can't do things.

There are lots of other things I could say about self-care (pedicures) and relationships and stuff. But I won't. I will just leave it at that.

Good Book to Read: The Weed That Strings The Hangman's Bag by Alan Bradley