How To Survive Being A Stay At Home Mom

Recently, I have had a number of friends exclaim something like, "Being a stay-at-home mom just isn't for me. I just can't stand to sit at home all day." Let me point out that this is potentially incredibly offensive. However, I think that the benefits of both staying at home and working have been covered in books, articles and blogs the world over many times by those much more eloquent than I. This post is for those that want to stay home with kids, but aren't quite sure how to hack it.

At the park, because we just couldn't be home.

Unfortunately, learning homemaking skills have become outmoded and incredibly passe. I, like many my age (still under 30 for a few more months . . . ) never really thought it useful to learn how to cook, clean or sew well. To this day, I would rather strut into a high power business meeting than face the reality of decorating my own home.

I have been a stay at home mom now for nearly 2 years, and this is my list of 'life-savers' for days I just can't take it any more.

Literally just sitting outside and letting him play with a soccer ball.

1. Have a Schedule. Everyone is different, and has a different parenting style, and I respect all of those and blah, blah, blah. That statement aside, I learned this from my mother. Long before I had children, she would say, "Kids need a schedule. They need to know what comes next; it just makes them feel safe." This rang true to me when I didn't have kids, and has proven so now that I do. It doesn't mean every second of the day has to be scheduled out, since that tends to add stress. It just means if kids know nap time is at 12 and bedtime is at 8, then so do you. You can make plans.

2. Make Plans. And Friends. Essentially, just get out of the house. Have a play date in the morning and go shopping in the afternoon. If all else fails, go to Chick-Fil-A. Best indoor play area ever. Go to the park, or Barnes and Noble (they have a great play area as well). Get a membership to the zoo, or the aquarium, or the aviary or whatever is where you are at. Then you have something you can do if your toddler drew on the wall and you aren't sure you can be a constructive parent anymore. As princess Elsa of Erendale once said, "It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small".

This is from a few months ago when we did a walking tour of south temple street in Salt Lake. I tried to shove him in a sweater that was too small. I would do it again.

3. Let It Go. I was recently at the park (probably calming myself down). I was the only one at the park actually sitting at a bench. Every other parent was up trying to show their children just how to play. I am all for being involved and teaching our kids. However, there is a time and place to just let your kid run around. Keep an eye out for obvious dangers, and sit your butt down. Let them make friends, or get pounded on by that giant that is masquerading about as a 3 year old. Give them the opportunity to learn on their own. Very often by doing so, we let them know we think they can do things.

This is how half our days end up. I shoot for only a few hours of TV every day. I rarely make it.

4. Know when you can't do things. Your life will fall apart, as will the house. Some inane butt head will inevitably say that they wish they could 'just sit at home all day' (this might be your husband) and you will visit a friend who always seems to have it all together. As a woman, I feel I should be capable of everything. I should have an immaculate home. I mean I am a stay at home mom. But I don't. Cut yourself some slack. Know when you can't do things.

There are lots of other things I could say about self-care (pedicures) and relationships and stuff. But I won't. I will just leave it at that.

Good Book to Read: The Weed That Strings The Hangman's Bag by Alan Bradley    

Banana Bread

I am have trying to focus on at least one big awesome thing that I do each day. Yesterday, instead of resorting to graham crackers and frosting for an afternoon snack (super tasty, but pretty much just junk. Also messy for Packer and myself), I made banana bread whilst my buddy napped.

I used the recipe from Deceptively Delicious. If you do not have this cookbook, get it. I have confiscated the one from the library and will buy one when they pry it from my hands in a few months (that's right 2 renewals equals almost 2 months of ownership). I am sure I will discuss this in further detail later.

It looked kind of like this -- without nuts. My camera is MIA -- so give it some time.

 Anyway, it was super yummy. Packer didn't go after it like he goes after frosting, but who can blame him? I, on the other hand have been munching on it like it was calorie free, which it is not. Here is the recipe:

Banana Bread (with cauliflower or if you don't have the cauliflower, an extra banana)

Ingredients:

Nonstick cooking spray

3/4 cup whole-wheat flour

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar

1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil

2 large egg whites

1 1/2 cups banana puree

1/2 cup cauliflower puree

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350. Coat a 9×5-inch loaf pan, or 2 mini pans, with cooking spray.

2. In a bowl or a zipper-lock bag, mix the flours with the baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.

3. In a large mixing bowl, mix the sugar and oil with a wooden spoon until well combined. Mix in the egg whites, banana and cauliflower purees, and vanilla. add the flour mixture and mix just until combined.

4. Pour the batter into the loaf pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 55 to 60 minutes for the large loaf, 25 to 30 minutes for the mini loaves. Let cool on a rack for 5 minutes, then turn the bread out of the pan to cool before serving.

 Please enjoy and make it for your little people, or yourself, or a neighbor! It was easy to make and loads of fun!

Banana Bread (with cauliflower)
Ingredients:
Nonstick cooking spray
3/4 cup whole-wheat flour
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar
1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil
2 large egg whites
1 1/2 cups banana puree
1/2 cup cauliflower puree
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1. Preheat oven to 350. Coat a 9×5-inch loaf pan, or 2 mini pans, with cooking spray.
2. In a bowl or a zipper-lock bag, mix the flours with the baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl, mix the sugar and oil with a wooden spoon until well combined. Mix in the egg whites, banana and cauliflower purees, and vanilla. add the flour mixture and mix just until combined.
4. Pour the batter into the loaf pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 55 to 60 minutes for the large loaf, 25 to 30 minutes for the mini loaves. Let cool on a rack for 5 minutes, then turn the bread out of the pan to cool before serving.
- See more at: http://familiesintheloop.com/das-digs/banana-bread-with-cauliflower/#sthash.whi77GKn.dpuf

Banana Bread (with cauliflower)
Ingredients:
Nonstick cooking spray
3/4 cup whole-wheat flour
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar
1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil
2 large egg whites
1 1/2 cups banana puree
1/2 cup cauliflower puree
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1. Preheat oven to 350. Coat a 9×5-inch loaf pan, or 2 mini pans, with cooking spray.
2. In a bowl or a zipper-lock bag, mix the flours with the baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl, mix the sugar and oil with a wooden spoon until well combined. Mix in the egg whites, banana and cauliflower purees, and vanilla. add the flour mixture and mix just until combined.
4. Pour the batter into the loaf pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 55 to 60 minutes for the large loaf, 25 to 30 minutes for the mini loaves. Let cool on a rack for 5 minutes, then turn the bread out of the pan to cool before serving.
- See more at: http://familiesintheloop.com/das-digs/banana-bread-with-cauliflower/#sthash.NJ6RvuOj.dpuf

Banana Bread (with cauliflower)
Ingredients:
Nonstick cooking spray
3/4 cup whole-wheat flour
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup firmly packed light or dark brown sugar
1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil
2 large egg whites
1 1/2 cups banana puree
1/2 cup cauliflower puree
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1. Preheat oven to 350. Coat a 9×5-inch loaf pan, or 2 mini pans, with cooking spray.
2. In a bowl or a zipper-lock bag, mix the flours with the baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.
3. In a large mixing bowl, mix the sugar and oil with a wooden spoon until well combined. Mix in the egg whites, banana and cauliflower purees, and vanilla. add the flour mixture and mix just until combined.
4. Pour the batter into the loaf pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, 55 to 60 minutes for the large loaf, 25 to 30 minutes for the mini loaves. Let cool on a rack for 5 minutes, then turn the bread out of the pan to cool before serving.
- See more at: http://familiesintheloop.com/das-digs/banana-bread-with-cauliflower/#sthash.NJ6RvuOj.dpuf

Park Cafe

Jameson had the day off yesterday to do our taxes. We had a gift certificate from our good friend, Mike Oyler to Park Cafe, this great breakfast/lunch place in downtown Salt Lake. We had tried going on a weekend and it was a disaster. Packer was a wreck, and there was a line out the door. So we thought this would be the perfect time to go.

We were right.

Mike raved to us about the food, but I honestly felt that I could make something that was just as good. What I really appreciated was the service. There didn't seem to be waiters assigned to a particular table (the atmosphere was very edgy/hipster-ish), but there were about a thousand waiters milling around so grabbing one wasn't too much of a task. Mostly, they were great with Packer, which was a very pleasant surprise. Due to the atmosphere, I expected to see rolled eyes and judgmental looks at my family. I have never been more wrong! The waiters immediately got a high chair for him, and brought him some animal crackers to munch on while we waited for our food. Every time a server passed us, he or she would smile and play a quick game with him. Consequently, he behaved really well in a rather busy place that would normally have him screaming to get down and run in about a thousand different directions.

I don't know if it would be great for multiple children, but it was such a fun family date for us!

*I know this looks like a post for park cafe, but it isn't. They have no clue who I am, and I doubt they really care.

Great Place to Eat: Park Cafe

Benefits of Exhaustion

First, I want to say 'Welcome Back to the World Me'! We had a rough Christmas and New Years. I had a miscarriage when I was about 10/11 weeks along - it was three days before Christmas. It was hard for me. However, it did launch me into a series of great goals that I got to start working on in January. They weren't really New Years Resolutions because they weren't really spurred on by the beginning of the year. They were really born out of a way for me to handle my grief (I realize I didn't lose a child or anything, but there was a grieving process none the less).

This picture is a fav of mine from when we did family pics in November. It makes me look deceptively thin.

Anyway, as I found out I was the heaviest I have ever been (including my pregnancy) I decided it was time I started working out. I have not lost fantastic amounts of weight yet or anything. But, I did go running today. It was today that I remembered how beneficial sheer exhaustion can be.

Yeah, he is totally adorable

I am not in great shape (heaviest of my life). In my run/walk I had to run up a hill that I hated even when I ran 3 miles a day. I was exhausted. It reminded me of when I was in track in high school. I had no business being in track. I can't run, jump or throw. So every practice was really just an exercise in how much my pride could take. Let's just say I am 5'4" and I was in high jump. I was not really destined for success there. However, I ran hard Every. Single. Day. Today as I ran up the hill, my thought process went "here we go, crappy hill . . . It's a party in the USA . . . whoo, this is hard! . . . one step. . . one step . . . one step. . ." My point being that eventually I stopped thinking and instead felt like it was sheer force of will driving me up that hill. It was glorious, and I feel like I conquered that voice inside saying I Can't. For Today.

This is how I spend most of my day. This very position. It wreaks havoc on my arms.

Good Book to Read: The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander A fantastic author and a fantastic book. My mom introduced me to this series. Full of Welsh lore, but still a totally original fantasy for lovers of the juvenile/ya fantasty genre.

Halloween Activities and Games for All

So I have already decorated our house for Halloween (mostly). I LOVE Halloween and enjoy scaring the snot out of myself and others. Here is a list of activities that we will be participating in for Halloween:

1. 31 Days of Family Film Frights  This is easy for us to watch after Packer goes to sleep, and it helps keep the anticipation of Halloween up. I have found that when I don't 'feel' like it is a certain holiday or season it is because I haven't put in the daily work to make myself feel that way. Movies are an easy way to do this.

2. Witch Festival at Gardner Village I actually love going to this with all of Jameson's family. It is super fun and the kids love to see the witches all dressed up. It is REALLY crowded though. So keep that in mind and be prepared to battle crowds.

3. Haunted Village This is not the scariest thing out there. However, the first time that I went, we went on a weeknight just as they were closing. Let's just say that the workers really put a show on for us. I may or may not have gotten trapped in the haunted asylum while mad scientists were calling my name, given to them courtesy of Taylor Christensen. Jameson was no help.

4. Family Halloween Party. This is a tradition that I want to start this year with our family. On the Monday night before Halloween, we will have a family home evening that includes all of the classic Halloween activities such as bobbing for apples and carving pumpkins. We will also learn about the history of Halloween, and how it has changed over the years (it doesn't hurt that I have extensively researched witches due to a book that may or may not be in the works).

5. Ward Halloween Party. This is our church's Halloween Party and involves a trunk or treat and some games in which Packer can show off his cute Lion costume to maximum benefit.

6. Halloween Lights. There is a house just up the street from us that does a Halloween light show similar to the Utah Christmas house (also near us). He has lights up all over his house that are timed to spooky music. Super fun, and we went last year. Really excited for this as well.

What are your Halloween traditions?

Living With Myself

I understand that the title to this particular post may be a tad confuzzling. Let me define: I mean living with myself as actuality, not metaphysically.

Those who have been my roommates (from parents to college to husband and everything inbetween) know that I am a hoot to live with. I am a riot with so much charm and charisma it figuratively leaks out my giant brown eyeballs. That said, I have lived with myself for a very long time, and I have found that sometimes that charisma pools up and makes the kitchen floor sticky. I rarely clean that up. So here is a top five list of all the things that I don't like to clean in my house, but I have to because I live with me.

1. The Dishes. Oh. My. Goodness. It is a daily battle with the inner me to complete this chore. I try to pass it off to my husband, but it totally doesn't work. I regularly miss days because 'I just can't face it' -- then I have Mt. Dishmore to climb for the rest of the week. I hate this.

2. My Bedroom. This has been a struggle for me since I was small. I would rather my mother give me ANYTHING else to do -- besides cleaning the dishes.

3. Re-Organizing Anything. Let's face it, I am a driven person. Ambitious to a fault. I often take on organizational projects that are just plain beyond me and my minor skills. Thus we end up with a pile of boxes that has yet to be a. used or b. thrown away because I am going to use them.

4. Doing more than one chore in an hour. I hate this chores are the pits. I have read multiple parenting books that talk about being positive about doing chores and your kids will enjoy doing them. HA! They will not. No one would rather mop the floor than read Hidden Order by Brad Thor. 

5. Decorating. I actually love to decorate my home. Unfortunately, I share that with my husband, who has definite ideas about what does and does not look good. These ideas often clash with mine and what results is little to no decor in our home.

What are your least favorite chores?

Good Series to watch: Melissa and Joey -- only watch this if you loved Sabrina: the teenage witch. If you did not, you will simply never appreciate the humor used.

Autumn Blues

I love autumn. As a season, it just has it all. Pretty colors, figure hiding sweaters, crisp (not frigid) air, and lots of apples for homemade applesauce.

This year, however, I am so sad to say goodbye to summer. I think it is because I finally have a kid and see the world through a smaller person's eyes again. Today we walked up to the pool area of the apartment complex that we live in. Packer was babbling to me in his sweet little voice about Lord knows what, but it was nice to hear all the same. Suddenly, he stopped cold and looked at the pool. It was covered for winter.

I then started to tick off in my head all the fun things that we had done this summer that we wouldn't be able to do now. Swimming, popsicles, camping, frolicking through meadows is kind of on it's way out. It just gave me a moment's pause to welcoming my beloved fall. So here is our sweet send off to summer:

April Come She Will by Simon and Garfunkel

April come she will
When streams are ripe and swelled with rain;
May, she will stay,
Resting in my arms again

June, she´ll change her tune,
In restless walks she´ll prowl the night;
July, she will fly
And give no warning to her flight.

August, die she must,
The autumn winds blow chilly and cold;
September I´ll remember.
A love once new has now grown old.

Overall, it has been a wonderful summer -- so here is to remembering in September, and looking forward to a wonderful fun filled fall!

Good Show to Watch: Derek -- I am fairly leary of Netflix Original Series. They are like HBO Original Series, super dirty and gross. However, while Derek does have a bit of language, it it fantastic. The story centers around a nursing home in England. More serious than funny and very touching.